Clients – When it comes to money we all have an opinion. Understanding where the opinion comes from is one of the keys to understanding the relationship of money for you. How did you learn about money? Growing up mom controlled the money and dad spent it wildly. Watching this you told yourself that you would be not mom or dad but in between. In addition, today you have a huge debt. Alternatively, it is the other scenario you hoard money and never buy you something. This one of the thousands of ideas people have about money. And if you think about it these ideas aren’t even your. They are mom and dads. Once we get to this understanding, we are then able to make changes about our opinion of money. It is getting to the understanding that is hard in our minds not the heart.
To understand the opinion we have to begun to understand our motive. Oh, I want to hire more sale staff to increase sales. Now, ask yourself to increase sales the real motive or is it greed. The company does well now why would we want to increase sales. Oh, I look better in the business community people will recognize me.
Penny – To understand the depth of integration individuals have about money a client of mine would even opened up her mail. Going out to the mailbox to her was like opening up Pandora’s box. The idea of opening the mailbox just brought on nightmares. To help her overcome this phenomenon I set up her finances and had her pay the bills. In doing so, this instilled into her that paying bills was not painful. As we progressed one day she asked do people actually take responsibility and pay their bills on time. I knew she was ready to open the mail. What she was asking me was that she was ready to progress to the next step. I said to the client in order for her to pay her bills by herself she would need to open the mail. I asked her to go the mailbox and breathe. Just breathe because if she thought about when she went to the mailbox she does not breathe. She actually becomes frozen in time, the past. By breathing the body relaxes. The following week when we meet, she opened the mail. She told me it was not easy though she remembered to breathe. In addition, by doing so she began to understand by not breathing the past came into her mind and she froze in her tracks. This day became a fresh start. A woman was evolving into her own self.
Learning about money is a skill. It is the experience with money that teaches the skill. Most people feel they know how to manage their finances. Reality says not so. Just look at the high debt and bankruptcies.
This client was the direct opposite. The money went through her like water. After having a long discussion it came out that her ex-husband controlled all the finances. She felt she had no breathing room. Therefore, when the divorce came through the money slipped through her hands. She was out of control. She also let me know that she was getting an inheritance and didn’t want the money to disappear. I let her know that we would need to build a financial foundation. A lot times what happens when people get an inheritance or a divorce settlement they think in their mind that they will put the money away and save. The problem is thinking it in the mind. What I mean by a financial foundation is to get people to save and build a 3 to 6 month supply of funds that would cover them if something were to happen unexpectedly. This financial foundation supports the individual and they are free to make other choices about their money like investing. The other part of the foundation is health insurance. This is essential to building the foundation. There are four material things that we really need in life. They are shelter, food, clothing, and medicines. The financial foundation supports these needs. Supporting these needs is an act of respect to you. I find that most people spend beyond their needs, create unpleasantness, and blame the problem on money. It isn’t the money it’s the individual. They are not respecting themselves by taking care of their basic needs.
